me, myself and deby

In two weeks time

2009-01-17T01:25:00.000-08:00

For the past two weeks that I wasn't able to use the Internet, i wasn't really missing it even though last Christmas vacation all i did was to surf the net because the first day I came back from the vacation is also the same day that I realized that the day after that I have a scheduled exam on Elementary particles and i wasn't able to read a single section about it. Damn. Good thing a Professor from University of Bielefeld, Germany came to have a workshop on us so the exam was postponed till the next meeting.

About the German prof, i thought the workshop won't bugged me that much since he will be talking about Mathematical Physics which I kinda liked and has a bit of a nice grade with the subject but then it turned out to be like hell. He was talking about convergence, sets, spaces, integrable etc., the topics i sucked the most. He even discussed and will be discussing white noise analysis for the rest of his stay which will be up to January 31. They scheduled his workshop every 4:30-6:00pm everyday and also 10:30-12:00 every Tuesdays and Fridays. What makes this so worst is that he always give us exercises after each session. How cool is that?

Enough about the German prof, I also had an exam with Quantum Mechanics 2 (Perturbation Theory) and Yes i sucked again. Failed. Our teacher even teased us that we had a teenager scores. Hahaha. With all the exams I had for the last two weeks what was nice was the exam on Statistical Mechanics, I still don't know my score yet but I'm a bit confident that i did well on it. Hahaha.. Feeler.

Oh. by the way, the German Prof? They said he is one of the Great3x grandson of Albert Einstein. So no matter how confusing the workshop is, there will never be an excuse valid enough for me not to attend a single session. Hmp..

Here is Dr. Ludwig Streit

COMMENTS HERE PLS

2008-12-31T05:52:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, you can post your comments about my I-don't-know blog here since I am having quite a hard time adding a comment box gadget. So here it is. Just feel free to write anything; Suggestion, comments and Reactions. Tnx.

Loving an Angel

2008-12-31T05:14:00.000-08:00

This song is one of my favorites, I wasn't really aware who sang this song but I find it really nice, amazing. So many emotion can be invested in this song when someone tries to sing it. Even for singers who seem to completely lost there expressions when it comes to showing the public the essence of the song would never find this hard to sing. It draws so much feelings, its like magic when someone tries to sing it. Guys, Angels by David Archuleta.

Angels
(David Archuleta)

I sit and wait
does an angel contemplate my fate
and do they know
the places where we go
when we’re grey and old
‘cos I’ve been told
that salvation lets their wings unfold
so when I’m lying in my bed
thoughts running through my head
and I feel that love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

and through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I’m right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
when I come to call she wont forsake me
I’m loving angels instead

when I’m feeling weak
and my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
and I know ill always be blessed with love
and as the feeling grows
she breathes flesh to my bones
and when love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

Fashion

2008-12-29T17:13:00.000-08:00

I so love fashion but you see I don't have all the means to just suddenly change my wardrobe. But lately, I don't know whats gotten into me I, just in an instance became a fan of nice dresses. Here are some of them.

This dress is absolutely amazing, so shiny, the bead work is absolutely fantastic. Nice fitting. Just simply amazing. Pardon me, i can't really describe the cut, how the dress was made. I'm just admiring it through my simple views. =)

This dress, this dress is very sexy, it completely fits the waist line thus giving full emphasis to the butt.

Remedy to Boredom

2008-12-28T22:35:00.000-08:00

Since I am so bored here in our lonely house, i decided to post some of favorite animes, this animes have also the manga version. Manga is like a comic book, its very updated compare to animes, i mean you have to wait several weeks before the new episode of the anime but in the manga you can read weekly uploaded episodes.

First, my ultimate favorite NARUTO, the new season is entitled Naruto Shippuden. This is a story of friendship and trust, loyalty and leadership. Name it, its all here.

My second most favorite anime is Vampire Knight, its a series about a young girl name Yuuki who at a very young age experienced the horror of being attacked by a blood thirsty vampire luckily someone rescued her. I wont tell any more details, lots of twists and a bit of some steamy conversation. Its a war of emotions for a friend and a lover who turned out to be.... =). This series has 12 Episodes.

The third one is the sequel of the anime Vampire Knight, Vampire Knight Guilty, here men, you cant imagine this would really end up like this... Hay, its a bit dragging but its so full of emotions and expression.. Here Yuuki learns about her past that is very much related to her future and whats happening at present. At this time it has only 11 Episodes as i told you we still have to wait for the release but the manga version has its updates already, if you cant wait then you can read it there.

The next one is a movie, not that lengthy but its enough, in this movie I would like to ask you to be open-minded. It tells about an intimate feeling felt by a guy for her younger twin sister.. See? I told you to be open minded. =).

I like a lot of animes i just cant remember them all. HEHEHE.. Now I'm reading Tsubasa Chronicles and watching Chaos Head, i had watched detective Conan before but i forgot some of the episodes so I'm watching and reading it again. I am also going to review some episodes of Slamdunk cant remember some of the characters. Try watching this animes you will surely enjoy.

Casualties

2008-12-22T06:01:00.000-08:00

I was asking a friend of mine to give me a list of nice websites that I can surf, he said philboxing.com, pba.com and nba.com. I told him; no way I’m not into sports. So he suggested why not try to see the video of the December 2008 Iligan city bombing, so told me ok, I’ll try.

I surfed YouTube and watched the video; I was halfway of finishing it that the comment box caught my attention.

133 comments, pretty many, right? I started reading each comment and I started to pity my muslim friends. They, who so good, they who respected me in my perception, who respected my views. I came from agusan del norte, a place where you can rarely see a single Muslim, went to iligan to study. In my 5 years of stay there I never was maltreated once. So why would I try to hurt them? I can hardly explain my side because at this moment emotions overwhelm me. One of the comments there said
“Yaawaaaaa!!.. na MUKLO jud! litse! atay! mga baho nga baga kaayog mga nawong.. mga ambiyoso! nakapatong lag syudad gusto na angkunan! mga animal!.. pamalik mo sa bukid! atay!...

walay ulaw!
walay grado!
walay concinxa!
walay kasing2x!
ug labaw sa tanan mga WALAY UTOK!
ngano ang sibilyan paman jud ang hilabtan!

Yawa jud! litse! atay! Animal!”

The word “Yawa” literally means “Devil” in English but it’s used as an expression such as “shit”

“Devil Muslim, smelly, thicked face, ambitious! You just stayed in the city, now you wanted to own it! Animals go back to your mountains!”
Shameless!
Uneducated!
No Conscience!
No heart!
And above all, no BRAINS!
Why would you hurt civilians among any others?”

I know, they were pissed because of the casualties the bombing caused, but this comment. It had gone way too far. Not all Muslims wanted this to happen, they also wanted PEACE as much as most of us do.

I just don’t know, is it that this people are stupid or they just try to blind themselves to the fact that some of the terrorists are Christians. This is not about religion anymore.

die

2008-11-14T23:08:00.000-08:00

At this moment i wanted someone to rip out my heart, someone who can kill me without feeling guilty. I wanted someone who can make me stop my breath and let me die without me seeing a tear dropped from a loved one. Its been a week since my heart was broken into pieces. With the past days that i encountered, I laugh and i smile but it never leaves me. The pain is always there, it always strikes me and leave me holding my breath because i get this stabbing pain whenever i do breathe.

I am willing to do everything not to fell this feeling, this is so painful. I cant endure this, this is not like a problem in my course that when encountered with difficulties a small research will help me get through it. But with this problem nobody is willing to help, nobody is expert in making your heart whole again.

You know what's scary? Its when we try so hard to forget things yet we cant. No matter how we drown ourselves to laughter and any dragging scene we still pause for a moment and we always feel that pain. Its there, perfectly there. It haunts us like a ghost, it follows us in everywhere we go. There's no such thing as a genuine laughter when we are in this situation.

I wanna be sedated, i wanna be numb. I wanna DIE.

bed

2008-11-02T14:46:00.000-08:00

She sat there in the bed all alone, crying. tears fall from her cheeks. It was supposed to be her happiest day because she thought she has found her man. But now she's sobbing and heart broken.

Two nights ago they were talking over the phone planning this very special night. By 2pm they planned to have a date in there the same-only-now-discovered favorite restaurant. They both like dumplings. A stroll to the city and spend the night in each others arms.

But it didn't went well, he had some errands and arrived in the room almost 11pm. Not a single sorry but there was awkwardness in the air, he change his clothes and lie down next to her. She was pretty quiet when he started touching her and she gave in.

5am she was awaken by the squeking of the bed, he is now changing his clothes. He said he needs to go home to change because he's gonna be late for his job. Not a word, just a goodbye kiss.

My Usual Prayer

2008-09-25T20:10:00.000-07:00

What do people usually pray? Good health? Happiness? Wealth? Well, no matter what people pray i would like to share my prayer. This is the only words i say when i pray. I mean this is my usual prayer.

In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit. Amen.
Lord God we praise and glorify your name.
You are the king of kings,
and the lord of lords.
Father God, you are my source of strength
My source of courage
and my source of life.

Oh lord god, i want to thank you
for giving me my family,
my friends and there families.
Thank you oh lord for the unending love and guidance
thank you for showering me with people
people who are always there to love me
to guide me
to lift my spirit when in pain.
Thank you also lord for giving me challenges and temptation
it motivates me to strive harder.
Thank you for letting me swim in the ocean of blessing
thank you also for so many opportunity.
Thank you so much.

Lord god, even though you have showered me with so much blessings
i am still hateful,
i would like to ask for forgiveness oh lord.
Sorry for the times that i doubt your existence
i am sorry lord that sometimes i blame you for my misfortunes
i caused pain to people intentionally and unintentionally.
Lord god, i am sorry for hurting you at times.
Sorry lord that i wasn't able to do the things you wanted me to do.
Sometimes i neglect my studies which is obligation.
I am very sorry oh lord.

Lord god, i know you have given me so many things oh lord,
all i ask oh lord is that please continue to love me and shower me with graces.
Protect my family and friends and all the people around me.
Lord god, i know that me enrolling in this masters degree is of your choice
I am having a hard time right now oh lord
but i know you will not leave me in the middle of this challenge
Equipped me with the right tool for me to be able to finish this course.
Oh lord god, let my health and everyones health be always good.
Thank you so much.

turning

2008-05-26T07:44:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is my birthday.. whoop. I'm turning 21. you see, when i was turning 18 or should i say during my 18th birthday, i wished that i would have a grand 21st birthday. It was all a pipe dream of course since we cant afford it. But you know what is so great about it right now? I'm craving for a super simple party. well, not really a party. You see, for the last few days that I'm here in our little town, i happen to meet some super nice guys. and i wanted to invite them. i prefer having then than my old mates during my high school days. my bro told me that of course i will like them since they are the most sincere people i can get in this pretentious town. somehow, i guess this is the most wonderful gift god has given me. i don't know if they see me the same way i see them. but it doesn't really matter now. as long as they remain true to me and to themselves despite the hypocrisy this town is showing to each of its resident.

moron

2008-05-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

i just can't understand it, how can i possibly make money through blogging?

oh I'm so sorry, the instruction was sufficient enough for me to get started with this whole blogging but when i started to work on it, i completely went black? so stupid of me.

since I'm already here now and I'm paying each second I'm wasting i might as well right something. but hell, unfortunately my ever complaining bro said we need to go. yeah, yeah yeah, he can go home first but you see its like so late now and I'm kinda have the chills to go home alone.. heehaws
so ta ta for now. bye

malas

2008-05-16T00:22:00.000-07:00

why is it always me?
Sounds familiar?
Neville Longbottom used to tell this exact words to his friends since he's the one who always gets into trouble.
Same way as i am. Huhuhu..
Since yesterday i was waiting for a call from DOST, some of my classmates were already scheduled for the final interview.
Today, still no call. A friend of mine from General Santos City received a call, it was so kind of her to ask if I was also accepted. They responded saying, we didn't get in touch with her, we are having some trouble . It either we do the interview in Gen San or In Cagayan de Oro, what is that? IF only they called me up. ask where I wanted the interview to take place. Now. I am so lost and confused. I decided to call the DOST Office of Gen San and in some way cleared things up. I am Scheduled to have the interview this coming May 22. In CDO.

outbox

2008-05-12T04:40:00.000-07:00

It hurts a lot when the person you wanted to share your life with never care. No matter how you willingly exposed your utmost intentions and feelings, they still refuse to believe and deny you of your emotions.

But what pains me the most is the ignorance, that, without any sense of sensitivity, exhibited, displayed and shown by the person i longed so much, care a lot and even cut my own breathe for his satisfaction.